I was struck by this commentary that Ben Stein did that morning on the show. And I felt a tug at my heart to post something.
As I am walking into the tough part of parenting (or at least what I think is the tough part). Yeah the baby stage with its late nights, bottle feedings, diaper changing, and car seat hauling seems never ending. However, it does, all too soon. That part of parenting is hard and exhausting. But now that my two are 3 and 6 I have realized my hardest challenge yet...
Molding, building their character.
I think, yes, even as a baby, we are molding them. However, how it really comes into play. There are lets say...temperament...that our children are born with. Genetics. But what keeps me anxious is what my children will do once they grow up and enter the 'adult' world. Then I got thinking...while watching Ben Stein... of my own wonderful parents.
I have the best mother and father a kid could have. And I never truly thanked them for being that. I don't think I could to their face because I would turn into a big ol' cry baby. So I am going 'media' on them and writing it down. For all to see, how I turned out the way I am...and why I pass those things onto my children.
My mother is kind, artistic, loving, a humorist, a historian, a lover of music and loves her kids more than anything (those birthed to her...and those other wise...) (please note that picture is from Halloween...at work...). My mother taught me to love others, be kind, that's most important. She works at a alternative high school in a small town, some might say yikes, but my mother was made for that job. She loves those kids, especially those who haven't had the best example of love. She has always helped the underdog, because no one was there to fight for them. She is a listening understanding ear and YET will tell it like it is. She has shown her own children a love and respect of all arts, which I now pass to my children. I remember going to an art museum..I mean I was like 12...with my school. The kids would walk around look at the paintings of world famous artists and say "I could do something better than that" "those are just blobs". Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, fine. I have never said that, because is more than just paint on canvas, it is emotion, its life, which my mother has taught me. I have introduced my children to art shows already at a young age, you can't start them early enough.
As an adult I am able to enjoy what my mother has taught me. Love, respect, compassion.
My father is a hard worker, caring, loving, a jokester, a sports fan, a lover of music and loves his kids more than anything. My dad taught me to not always take life so seriously that its ok to laugh. What I remember and now my own children are doing is "quit hitting yourself" game...which I think HE taught was more funny than me. But now I get complete joy out of doing it to my children (its not abuse so take your hands off the phone). One thing that my dad and I have always bonded over is sports. Adam doesn't really know how lucky he is to have married a girl who does know sports. My dad took the time to coach my basketball teams and teach me all the strategies. And once you stop laughing, yes I truly did play basketball...and I was good. My dad traveled often for his job but he always made the time special when he was home, taking us to sporting events and the park. And even bringing back treasures from his business trips. It was a way of saying he was thinking of us even though he was far.
As an adult I am able to enjoy what my father has taught me. Love, kindess, understanding.
Both my father and mother love music, which has been passed down to me, which is now children love music. When I was growing up, peers would be listening to jazz or Christian music (nothing is wrong with that) but I was raised on the good stuff, when you live in the northwest you have to be. My parents had the 'pearl jam' tape (yes, tape my friend), and Nirvana. Yes, songs were unedited back then (gasp) but I learned not to say those words (my parents NEVER swore). We listened to music, read the lyrics, learned about the artist. I still do to this day. I think that's why my children are so smart, they listen to "the civil wars", "Glen Hansard", etc since the womb.
A year and half ago my parents moved...moved closer to us. They used to live 45 minutes away, which was hard. They now live 5 miles from me and I wouldn't trade it for the world. As an adult, those little things they instilled in me...I am still able to enjoy with them. Every Sunday we join up at my parents to watch football. My dad and I talk stats and fantasy football. My mom enjoy a good Manhattan and listening to "vinyl café" which I had the complete honor of getting to see with her live this winter. They might have been my friends growing up (which parents shouldn't be your friends growing up!)...but they are now.
Mom and dad, Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for all that you have done and continue to do to mold me as I mold my children. Your support and love is felt daily. You amaze me. I can never say thank you enough.
....since getting married I have two 'other' parents. I want to thank Bill and Alice for molding their son, Adam, to be the man that I would marry one day. Those strong characteristics and traits are now being passed on to another kind, hardworking generation.
..Can't say it enough...thank you.
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