Gratitude...

This past Sunday morning I woke up early (not sure why) but I turned on my favorite Sunday morning show, the CBS Sunday morning show.  The rest of my family woke up slowly as 50% of our current household is sick. 

I was struck by this commentary that Ben Stein did that morning on the show.  And I felt a tug at my heart to post something.

Its time for me to as Ben Said "wake the heck up" and be thankful what my parents have done.

As I am walking into the tough part of parenting (or at least what I think is the tough part).  Yeah the baby stage with its late nights, bottle feedings, diaper changing, and car seat hauling seems never ending.  However, it does, all too soon.  That part of parenting is hard and exhausting.  But now that my two are 3 and 6 I have realized my hardest challenge yet...

Molding, building their character.

I think, yes, even as a baby, we are molding them.  However, how it really comes into play.  There are lets say...temperament...that our children are born with.  Genetics.  But what keeps me anxious is what my children will do once they grow up and enter the 'adult' world.  Then I got thinking...while watching Ben Stein... of my own wonderful parents.

I have the best mother and father a kid could have.  And I never truly thanked them for being that.  I don't think I could to their face because I would turn into a big ol' cry baby.  So I am going 'media' on them and writing it down.  For all to see, how I turned out the way I am...and why I pass those things onto my children.

My mother is kind, artistic, loving, a humorist, a historian, a lover of music and loves her kids more than anything (those birthed to her...and those other wise...) (please note that picture is from Halloween...at work...).  My mother taught me to love others, be kind, that's most important.  She works at a alternative high school in a small town, some might say yikes, but my mother was made for that job.  She loves those kids, especially those who haven't had the best example of love.  She has always helped the underdog, because no one was there to fight for them.  She is a listening understanding ear and YET will tell it like it is.  She has shown her own children a love and respect of all arts, which I now pass to my children.  I remember going to an art museum..I mean I was like 12...with my school.  The kids would walk around look at the paintings of world famous artists and say "I could do something better than that"  "those are just blobs".  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, fine.  I have never said that, because is more than just paint on canvas, it is emotion, its life, which my mother has taught me.  I have introduced my children to art shows already at a young age, you can't start them early enough.

 

 

As an adult I am able to enjoy what my mother has taught me.  Love, respect, compassion.



My father is a hard worker, caring, loving, a jokester, a sports fan, a lover of music and loves his kids more than anything.  My dad taught me to not always take life so seriously that its ok to laugh.  What I remember and now my own children are doing is "quit hitting yourself" game...which I think HE taught was more funny than me.  But now I get complete joy out of doing it to my children (its not abuse so take your hands off the phone).  One thing that my dad and I have always bonded over is sports.  Adam doesn't really know how lucky he is to have married a girl who does know sports.  My dad took the time to coach my basketball teams and teach me all the strategies.  And once you stop laughing, yes I truly did play basketball...and I was good.  My dad traveled often for his job but he always made the time special when he was home, taking us to sporting events and the park.  And even bringing back treasures from his business trips.  It was a way of saying he was thinking of us even though he was far. 

As an adult I am able to enjoy what my father has taught me.  Love, kindess, understanding.

Both my father and mother love music, which has been passed down to me, which is now children love music.  When I was growing up, peers would be listening to jazz or Christian music (nothing is wrong with that) but I was raised on the good stuff, when you live in the northwest you have to be.  My parents had the 'pearl jam' tape (yes, tape my friend), and Nirvana.  Yes, songs were unedited back then (gasp) but I learned not to say those words (my parents NEVER swore).  We listened to music, read the lyrics, learned about the artist.  I still do to this day.  I think that's why my children are so smart, they listen to "the civil wars", "Glen Hansard", etc since the womb.

A year and half ago my parents moved...moved closer to us.  They used to live 45 minutes away, which was hard.  They now live 5 miles from me and I wouldn't trade it for the world.  As an adult, those little things they instilled in me...I am still able to enjoy with them.  Every Sunday we join up at my parents to watch football.  My dad and I talk stats and fantasy football.  My mom enjoy a good Manhattan and listening to "vinyl café" which I had the complete honor of getting to see with her live this winter.  They might have been my friends growing up (which parents shouldn't be your friends growing up!)...but they are now.

Mom and dad, Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for all that you have done and continue to do to mold me as I mold my children.  Your support and love is felt daily.  You amaze me.  I can never say thank you enough.

....since getting married I have two 'other' parents.  I want to thank Bill and Alice for molding their son, Adam, to be the man that I would marry one day.  Those strong characteristics and traits are now being passed on to another kind, hardworking generation.

..Can't say it enough...thank you.

Blogging, once again...

It's been awhile...I know I am super slacking.

A lot has happened, it like the two years, since blogging.  Lets just chopped it up to I was just too busy (and not lazy).  If I can't do it on my phone...then normally it doesn't get done, which applies to blogging also. Its sad, really, because I kind of enjoy it.

HOWEVER, the reason I am writing now is to talk about my "Good Deed Advent Calendar" my family did this year.  I've had a few requests to write down what we did over the course of 25 days, the 25 days worth of good deeds.  I wanted to also explain why I did it.

It did start a few years ago, when a friend of mine did a good deed calendar for the holidays.  Super cool idea...put it in the back of my mind...then promptly forgot about it.

This year I have a friend who has done it the last couple of years, seeing how awesome it was I decided that this year was the year.  The kids are young, this I know, however if we start young it will almost become a second part of them. 

There is just so much, well lets say, crap in this world.  I fear for my children and others.  Why can't we just be kind to one another?  I just don't understand.  That's why I did this.  Its time for some good in the world.

There are a few things noting here before I start:
-Each family is different, you may or not be able to do what we did.
-No matter how young or old, they can benefit from this
-Remember, you can always do kind deeds for family members.
-Sometimes the smallest deed does the longest way
-Pick a charity that is close to your heart and that you are super passionate about.
-If you skip a day, its OK!  Double up one day, not a big deal!
-A candy cane can make someone's day
-Take photos so you can remember what you did that year.
-Stress the importance of the good deeds to your children.  Talk about it.  Don't be afraid to let them ask questions.  And if they have an idea, LISTEN TO THEM.  Children have such pure, kind hearts.
-Consider making or finding a tag that says "random acts of kindness" and attach to the deed you are doing.  Through this I have realized people do NOT expect this and wonder whats going on.  This helps and you don't have to sit and explain it.

Here we are....The Cross Family Good Deed Calendar.
day one. make and mail Christmas cards to service men and women. 

day two. tape microwaveable popcorn to a redbox.

day three. do an extra chore for your sibling

day four. make cards for out of state family and mail them.

day five. each child gets $10 to go grocery shopping.  they pick out the food.  kids get to see how much/less money goes in order to buy food.  we then will take the food to the local food bank.

day six. go to the YMCA and pick out a giving tree tag.  buy a gift card for the child.

day seven.  hand out candy canes, randomly to strangers, at a community event (ours was snow day at church)

day eight. invite a family friend to dinner at our house.  you get to host the dinner.

day nine. buy a travel mug and gift card for the principal and your teacher (did with a friend)

day ten.  donuts to the office ladies at school (done with a friend)

day eleven. buy and donate dog treats to a local animal shelter

day twelve. make a pinecone bird feeder.  don't forget the birds!

day thirteen. make a video asking for crayon donations for children's hospital.

day fourteen. take hot chocolate to a salvation army ringer.

day fifteen. take candy canes and thank you cards to the staff at our church.

day sixteen. make a nice card and give it with chocolates to the mailman.

day seventeen. make goodies for the neighbors. deliver them ding dong ditch style!

day eighteen. make a nice card and give it with chocolates to the UPS man.

day nineteen. deliver the crayons to children's.

day twenty. deliver treats to the fire station.

day twenty one. buy a gift card and ask cashier to use it on somebody behind you.

day twenty two. buy a gift for your sibling.

day twenty three. make a trip to the retirement home.

day twenty four. make cards for the 'best Christmas lights' go and look Christmas lights and give your award to your favorite.

day twenty five. exchange your gifts.

Today I....

...left the house will spilled cheerios in our playroom
...with dishes in the sink, piled up from gosh only knows when
...may or may not left dirty pee pee diapers on the floor...somewhere
...ingnored the bag, that was filled with blocks, dumped on the floor
...turned a blind eye to my child when he ate the fore mention of cheerios off the floor when we got home
...was in horrible mood because our costco sized coffee ran out. that is pretty much tragic at our house
...sat down at my MOPS table and was probably too loud
...got dressed up for MOPS but all I could think of "boy I wish I could be in sweats right now"
...after I write this will head off and change into sweats excuse me, yoga pants!
...realized I am a really horribly messy person
...came home to almost no bread for sandwiches, gave Super C the 'butt' piece, I ate half a sandwich and Monkey M got a whole sandwich with two real pieces of bread

...am thankful for my wonderful children who tolerate me only a daily basis. Including when I thought it would be funny to stuff the blocks mentioned above into Super C's pants while he was crawling around. Monkey M thought was funny too.

...When you actually have time to read...

I am not a big reader, although in years after high school and college I have found the love of reading. Once I realize that there isn't some teacher shoving a book down my throat to read...then do a large book report...I was able to pour coffee and enjoy what I would like to read.

There was only three books that I have read front to back pretty much in one sitting....'Happens Every Day-An All Too True Story' By Isabel Gillies (great book, but sad since its about marriage and divorce but you can't help but just feel for the main character) 'Beautiful Boy: A father's journey through his son's addiction' by David Sheff and his Son's book on his addiction 'Tweak: Growing up on Meth." by Nic Sheff. Both father/son have amazing writing that draw you in and you feel for both of them on different levels, reaccounting their stories. All three books are actually depressing in their owns way, but would recommend any of these books for a great read.

Now I am adding another one to that list. And if you haven't borrow it/put it on hold at the library, do so now 'Bossypants' by Tina Fey.

There have been many times where I am sitting, watching some 30 Rock and say, out loud for that matter, I wish I was more like Tina Fey. I would rather have my daugther look up to someone with a great sense of humor that someone who goes simply on looks (not to say Tina Fey isn't beautiful, she is...maybe not so much in the older pictures she has through out her book. But heck, we all remember those days...right???). She is smart, hillariously quick, honest, and blunt. All those things I love about her.

I am a big 30 Rock fan and a huge fan of her when she was on SNL (what happened to SNL anyways??? Seems like its a ship thats going down...fast...). Loved her when she was Sarah Palin, frankly becasue she was making fun of her...I am not a Sarah Palin fan. And that she is a mother of now two and a marriage...she is a great lady! All those things she addresses in her book, with that smart and honesty I talked about earlier.

One weekend we were invited to 'the cabin' which is on a local island. The kids played in the swimming pool, the men helped with projects around the cabin (beer in hand of course) and I got to sit...and read. I brought this book with the intention of reading it off and on during the weekend. I probably neglected my children over the course of the weekend but crap dang...grandparents were there, they wanted to watch them! on a side note, please don't call CPS, I really didn't neglect my children and I swear I am a decent mother.

By far my favorite chapter on the book is which she talks about motherhood in the chapter titled "There's a Drunk Midget in My House"

I am going to briefly write about my favorite parts only to entice you to read the book.

As with any first time mother, Tina was thrown in to the Breastfeeding vs Bottle feeding debate. Now, I am going to announce here that I am taking sides on either...as long as your baby is healthy, thats all that matters!

Quote: "Invented in the mid-1800's as a last-ditch option for orphans and underweight babies, packaged infant formula has since been perfected to be a complete and reliable source of stress and shame for mothers." I cracked up at this...because when I went to formula for both children I experienced both of those things. Not as much with my second as I started not giving a crap care anymore.

Quote: "There are a lot of different opinions as to how long one should breast-feed. The world Health Org says six months. The American Association of Pediatrics says one year is Ideal. Mothering magazine suggests you nurse the child until just before his rehearsal dinner. I say you must find what works for you. For my little angel and me the magic number was about seventy-two hours". Mine was three months, both, on the dot.

Now for Tina Fey's "Me Time" List:
-Go to the bathroom a lot.
-Offer to empty the dishwasher.
-Take nintey-minute showers (if you only shower every three or four days, it will be easier to get away with this.)
-Say you're going to look for the diaper creme, then go into your child's room and just stand there until your spouse comes in and curtly says "What are you doing?"
-Stand over the sink and the rest of your child's dinner while he or she pulls at your pant leg asking for it back.
-Try to establish that you're the only one in your family allowed to go to the post office.
-"Sleep when your baby sleeps." Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless.

Ok, so seriously, if my crappy halfassed review isn't cutting in...check out the book. You will not regret it in anyway....

Melissa tag your it! The book is off to you now! Thanks Reyna for the community book!

And I put my stamp of approval of this...
-Sara puts a Bird on it.

There isn't even word for this...

For those of you who live in Washington State, you are very aware of little Rachel Beckwith. Those who are not from the area, let me tell you a little background.

Little Rachel was turning 9 and instead of having gifts for her birthday she wanted to raise money for "Charity Water" a non profit that brings clean water to those who are able to reach clean water. Her goal was $300 (to give 15 people fresh, clean water) and she was $80 short of her goal...

Then last week, most of us heard about a horrific traffic accident on one of our major highways. A huge car pile up that went for miles...

Rachel's family was in that pile up....

She went into the Hospital with $80 short of her goal....

There Rachel fought for her life, with her amazing family by her side.

She went home to Jesus this past Saturday.

Since then her story went viral. One of the most amazing things of our current technology, things can get around the world within minutes.

As of today she has reached her goal...she is just shy of $580,000.

I write this not only to urge you to donate or even pray for her family during this time. But to also think about compassion, empathy and what we are teaching to our children. I prayed with both children for Jesus to bless them with gift of compassion and empathy. Even at such a young age, children can be impacted to bless others with their compassion and empathy. It warms my heart to know that there are others out there teaching the same to their children.

...imagine if everyone was filled with compassion and empathy?

SWAGGER WAGON

Never Say Never

This post is brought to you by "Cat in the Hat Knows a lot About That"...this morning was all about 'echos', so guess what the kids are doing...yelling echo around the house (dang you PBS). I have to escape, so I am going to write about a few things I said I would NEVER do.

And I am not talking Justin Bieber fans.

...Please keep in mind, you new mothers or heck even seasoned mothers...never say never.

There is, of course, the normal "I will NEVER let my children watch tv" that I would tell to myself. Right, reality of the fact is, I am pretty sure Monkey M learned that alphabet from stupid show with elmo. Thats not what I am talking about. If you know me, there are two that I can't believe I went back on my word...

Monkey M will NEVER be into princess things

and

I will NEVER own a Minivan

...gasp...

Now good, I got that in the open.

When I was pregnant with Monkey M I swore up and down that she wouldn't be a normal girly girly. She won't own any Disney princess items and she wouldn't want to ever wear a skirt.

I couldn't be more wrong about my daughter. Let me show you a few examples:

...yes those are my heals in the last picture

You see, I don't even need to explain...I have the most girly girly ever.

And....the minivan. I know my sister in law is laughing at me...she knew I was going to eat my words one day. Here it goes...

It just would be so much easier to have a van.

Once A gets his new job...depending on money of course...we will be looking into upgrading our current car situation. With me watching at least one more child a during the week days, its really hard to squeeze three carseats into my Honda. It would be so much easier if I didn't hit my child's head each time I put them into the carseat.

Some of you might ask "well Sara, what about a SUV? or something with a 3rd row seat?" Lets be realistic, I am 4'11'' and there is no way that I am going to get up and down so easily.

If you don't think its cool, just check this out:

(click on the video in the above post)